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It is what it is...

Although I don't think Tolle was the first to come up with that, he talks a lot about it in his books. His theme is that people assign 'good' or 'bad' to circumstances in their lives, and then they're not only dealing with the actual circumstance but also the connotations from the value judgment. Of course, it seems to be human nature to make those value judgments, but I've noticed that when I can hold back some, it does make that moment (and the subsequent ones) easier to live.

For example, yesterday, DH learned that there's a strong chance he will no longer receive any business from one of his clients. It was discouraging, especially right now as the appraisal world is slowing way down. At first, I let it get me down. I assigned a value -- bad -- to that knowledge. But then, as Tolle's ideas began to sink in a bit, I realized that it is what it is. We don't know what will come of this.

Instead of worrying, I tried just taking in the moment. Worrying about it will do no good -- it won't change anything. We don't know if this will lead to financial struggles down the road or not -- we can't know.

It is what it is...and that's okay.

Comments

( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
lefalcone
Mar. 22nd, 2011 05:11 pm (UTC)
Fear makes one think such horrible, catastrophic thoughts. Keeping calm in the face of change is the biggest challenge of all. Stay strong.
robinellen
Mar. 22nd, 2011 08:23 pm (UTC)
Fear really does hold a lot of power that way -- I've had many panic attacks in my life when I let fear take hold ;)
pamm
Mar. 22nd, 2011 05:45 pm (UTC)
Yep. Jesus said the same thing: Matthew 6:25-27 “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? 27 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?"

Wise words. Hard to remember, though...

robinellen
Mar. 22nd, 2011 08:24 pm (UTC)
Tolle quotes this section of Matthew in one of the instances where he discusses this, and probably anyone who was raised in the church would have that connection (I know I did, when I first read it). Why worry about tomorrow? Today has enough worries of its own ;)
pamm
Mar. 22nd, 2011 09:11 pm (UTC)
I have to quote this to myself often! Because we do tend to see the dark first. Panic first. That's cool about Tolle.

I'm glad you're not worrying! There's too much of it in the world today. :-D
anabelgonzalez
Mar. 22nd, 2011 06:26 pm (UTC)
I think when you assign something the value of sad or bad it keeps you out of thinking. With the new perspective you have of this you will be more able to support your husband and that he sees this clearly if all this is true he noes in advance to see if he can do something or time to find new clients.
I am sending your way lots of possitive thoughts!
robinellen
Mar. 22nd, 2011 08:25 pm (UTC)
Very nice, Anabel -- and wise :) Thank you!
lisamullarkey
Mar. 23rd, 2011 09:49 am (UTC)
I'm a worrier. Always have been. Taping "It is what is is to fridge"... Breathe deeply...
robinellen
Mar. 23rd, 2011 02:32 pm (UTC)
Another favorite: This too shall pass.

Between the two of those (and other parts of Tolle's philosophies -- which are, of course, very similar to many others'), I've become so much less of a worrier. And I've struggled with it my entire life *remembers being a child worrying about parents dying*.
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )

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