Word Count: 2,215
Summary: Harry opens his home to vacationing travellers during the holiday season, and finds more than he bargained for, as well as everything he didn't know he was missing.
Warnings: Light angst, mentions of past character death, PTSD
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and company belong to JKR Rowling. This piece of fiction was written for entertainment purposes only and makes no monetary gain for the author.
Author's Notes: Part 4 written for 25 Days of H/D on slythindor100 or read on AO3.
( Chapter 4: Something BlueCollapse )
The Twelve Neuroses of Christmas
Over the years, self-help authors have bent themselves into a pop-psych
pretzel trying to identify and cure a battery of seasonal ailments--from the
midsummer doldrums to spring fever to back-to-school blahs. What surprises
me is that, with all this credentialed attention paid to the emotional
distresses that seem to come and go with the equinoxes, nowhere has there
been a serious exploration of Thanksgiving-to-Christmastime angst.
Oh, sure, you've read the homespun tips for coping with the upcoming
seasonal stress (e.g., relentless familial interaction, gift-giving anxiety,
Bowl Game viewing selection). But where is a down-and-dirty checklist of
those real turkey-to-mistletoe neuroses--you know, the ones that linger in
the pit of your stomach like a lump of coal in the toe of a stocking?
Having celebrated 47 Christmases in my lifetime--18 of them as the youngest
son in a Jewish family, 19 as a carefree agnostic and the past ten holed up
in the guest room of my Episcopalian in-laws' house in Cleveland--I know a
thing or two about how the yuletide brings out the fruitcake in all of us.
Deck the halls, America. Carefully.
1.Orderline Personality Disorder (OPD): The inability to stop calling 1-800
numbers in pursuit of last-minute holiday sales. Hopelessly devoted to
low-budget, late-night infomercials--and secure in the knowledge that
operators are, indeed, standing by--OPD sufferers commonly exhibit three
telltale symptoms of their buy-by-phone disorder: an unusually flat ear; the
inability to recite numbers without also mentioning a cardholder name and
expiration date; and a sudden addiction to 3 a.m. reruns of Three's Company
on Nick at Nite. (Technophobes who still own rotary phones also run the risk
of developing Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.)
2.Ho-Ho-Phobia (HHP): A profound fear of rotund, bearded men in red suits
and black boots. HHP outbreaks usually surface in late November, when
sufferers begin to report frequent sightings of their most feared apparition
on street corners, in shop windows and on TV commercials for local car
dealerships. Often referring to these men as Santa Claus, St. Nick or
"chortling fatboy," the afflicted appear most unsettled by what they call
"department store Santas," whom they insist "are constantly surrounded by
cranky little men in green outfits who keep glancing at their watches." (See
following related disorders.)
3.North-Polar Disorder (NPD): The chronic fear that someone is on the roof.
4. Blitzen Fits (BF): Uncontrollable tantrums resulting from the belief that
reindeer have befouled one's driveway.
5. Calendar Countdown Condition (CCC): An unyielding obsession with how many
shopping days are left until Christmas. Constantly reaching for PDAs and
notepads, CCC sufferers feel a pressing need to absorb and retain a daunting
litany of time zones, store hours and driving mileage in support of their
shop-or-drop obsession. "It's amazing," notes Harvard University's Arnold
Belfry, who has studied CCC. "Some of these people can't even balance their
checkbooks. But can they number-crunch the time it takes to get to the Radio
Shack on Route 40? Down to the millisecond." CCC is most commonly found
among former math majors, chronic coupon-clippers and old ladies who still
use tiny change purses.
6. Saksual Dysfunction (SD) (also known as Saks Addiction): A disabling
sense of disappointment upon receiving a gift that wasn't purchased at Saks
Fifth Avenue. Unable to control winces, grimaces and stony pouts after
opening their presents, SD sufferers were previously thought to be
incurable. Yet new hope emerged last year when, in an experimental trial,
Geraldine Koop of Bellport, Long Island, was gradually exposed to
lesser-quality Christmas gifts during a two-week period. Successfully
uttering half-convincing thank-yous after receiving a toaster oven from
Macy's and a pair of Isotoner driving gloves from the Fashion Bug, Koop was
pronounced entirely cured when she actually screamed, "Just what I've always
wanted!" after getting a Weed Whacker from Wal-Mart. (See following related
7. Angoraphobia (AP): A chronic fear that cousin Harriet from Omaha sent you
another homemade sweater for Christmas.
8. OCD-AAA: A variation on obsessive-compulsive disorder, in which sufferers
are constantly on the verge of panic for fear that they forgot to buy
triple-A batteries for their kid's Game Boy. Although researchers once
believed OCD-AAA was chiefly a male syndrome passed from father to son, new
data point to a variant in married women. Currently classified OCD-BVD, the
affliction manifests in wives' inability to choose between boxers and briefs
when underwear shopping for their spouses. (Further studies are currently
being conducted under a joint grant from the AMA, NIH and the Fruit of the
9. Semitic Phlegm Syndrome (SPS): The inability to make the guttural,
Hebraic 'ch' sound when pronouncing the word Chanukah. Primarily afflicting
children, gentiles and seriously lapsed Jews, SPS sufferers become paralyzed
with fear that a passing remark about Chanukah at the dinner table will
cause them to launch unexpected throat projectiles into the mashed potatoes.
Sufferers typically isolate themselves from family members during
spontaneous 'round-the-piano sing-alongs, particularly during the number
10. Tongue-Tied Terror (TTT): The inability to speak normally in the
presence of one's in-laws at the holiday dinner table. Often referred to by
its clinical name, "selective relational mutism," TTT renders sufferers with
a sudden loss of speech during family meals, primarily when potential
in-laws make such passing inquiries as, "So what are your intentions?" "How
soon can you give us grandkids?" and the more pointed "How much did you say
11. Dick Clark Syndrome (DCS): Named for the American entertainer most
famously associated with New Year's, DCS encompasses a host of fixations in
which celebrants find their calendar-turning revelry marked more by
lid-flipping than cork-popping. Sub-ailments include Fez-o-Phobia, a fear of
silly paper hats; Midnight Madness, the dread of being kissed as the clock
strikes 12 by a slobbering stranger with beer breath; and Synusitis, the
inability to accurately define the words auld, lang and/or syne.
12. Walking Winter-Wonderland Disease (WWW): The inability to be giddy or
mirthful at the sight of a new snowfall. Constantly complaining about the
clatter of snow chains and expressing a sudden need to shovel the walk, the
WWW-afflicted often remain debilitated by this wet-white-blanket disorder
until the first spring thaw. For further information on WWW disease, log on
to the national Web site at www.www.edu.
Word Count: 500+
Rating: NC 17
Prompt: This picture
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or anything related to that universe. This was written solely for fun and no profit was made.
Author's Notes: Unbeta-ed. Also, I try to always be really safe with ratings, which is why this NC 17 because there are mentions of things in the story.
Word Count: 350 words (this part)
Summary: A misunderstanding ended a tentative relationship between Draco and Harry during the war. Five years later, will a chance encounter be what they need to find love again?
Notes: Written for the slythindor100 25 Days of Draco and Harry challenge, for the following picture prompt:
( 'Tis the Season (4/25)Collapse )
Title: The Prodigal Lover Returns Part 3
Prompt used: Above Photo
Word Count: 886
Rating: R or possibly NC 17
Warning: Implied Past Mpreg, EWE, Angst. Mildly Explicit Sex and First Time in this chapter.
Disclaimer: I don't own the boys or any other characters in this story. That honor goes to the lovely JK Rowling. No copyright infringement is intended. Story written purely for entertainment.
Author's Notes: Story is set post war and ignores the epilogue. This was written last night but I fell asleep so I'm a bit late but its longer than the last two so hope that makes up for the lateness!! Happy Holidays to everyone!!
( Draco’s mother had been more right than he’d wanted to admit.Collapse )
- Current Mood: busy
- Current Music:Accidents Can Happen by Sixx AM
Now, while that's an extreme example, I often find that the books which resonate most for me are those in which the setting and the weather have specifically been chosen to echo and support and enhance the plot.
Reading Susan Cooper's 'The Dark is Rising' sequence has reminded me of this. Who could conceive of those books about old magic and the timeless battle between Light and Dark being played our anywhere other than the ancient places of Britain? Equally, the descriptions of the Alaskan wilderness with all of its harsh beauty perfectly enhances the beauty and the cruelty of life depicted in Eowyn Ivey's 'The Snow Child', while the English Fens are the perfect setting for Franny Billingsley's dark fairytale, 'Chime'. Indeed, for all those examples, the stories and their themes are born out of the landscapes in which they are set.
In the same way, a twisty, turny mystery might benefit from being set in an old city, full of narrow alleys and blocked-up doorways, where the setting enhances the red herrings and paranoia of the plot. Or the claustrophobia of a broken-down old house might underscore the breakdown of the relationshpis of those living in it.
Not every story needs such obvious links to its seting as a tool to enhance the plot. Indeed, direct contrasts between the two might work just as well. Indeed, too obvious a link might end up being cliched, and I'm inherently cliche-adverse!
That said, setting is certainly one of the first aspects of story that floats to the surface of the caudron when I'm brewing a new story. It's often as thought the elements of story and setting have already come together in my subconscious, so they arrive in tandem. Then, it's for me to figure out the ways in which one will complement the other. In fact, if the setting isn't clear when I set out, I'll have trouble making progress until I've found the right one. The one that will add to the plot, and, come to think of it, will add to aspects of the characters too. Like the way Heathcliff could have been shaped from a piece of the dark, brooding, dangerous moor. We are, after all, products of our environment (sorry, cliche!)
What about you, how important is the right setting for you in your writing/reading?
Eek! There’s a mouse in the house!
They’ve invaded the Alphabet Soup kitchen. But we don’t mind one bit, because they’re all handmade by indie artists and want you to adopt them. Perfect stocking stuffers for the cheese heads on your gift list. Twelve, for the Twelve Days of Christmas; includes a couple of patterns/kits for you do-it-yourselfers (clickety click). Catch them before they run up the clock.
Wanna make your own? Purchase the needle-felted animal class from barby303 and receive a kit and PDF with instructions to make Peanut Bunner and Jilly Sannich.
Mirta the miniature felt mouse by atelierpompadour (comes with matchbox and gift bag; other colors available)
Oh, the cuteness!
Fa la la, merry and bright.
Boy, am I craving cheese . . .
Copyright © 2013 Jama Rattigan of Jama’s Alphabet Soup. All rights reserved.
Word Count: 821
Summary: Old rivalries give way to something better
Author's notes: Written for slythindor100's Early Bird Challenge: Prompt #10 (Christmas baubles) and 12 (Tree). Also written for dracoharry100's Christmas Challenge, Prompt #19 (Mistletoe)
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. This was written for fun, not profit.
Title: Moving onAuthor: snowcrazy921
Prompt used: Early bird prompt # 9
Word Count: 866
Rating: M overall
Prompt: early bird # 9
Warning: Slash, cheating, sexual content in later chapters
Disclaimer: I don't own anything Harry Potter related even though I wish I did
Author's Notes: This is going to be one continuous story from day 1 to day 25. I will also be writing for normal prompts and always have a great time doing this ever year.
( Moving on 4/25Collapse )
Title: Something newAuthor: snowcrazy921
Word Count: 1008
Rating: M for later chapters
Prompt: traditional day 4 – icy window
Warning: Graphic sexual content for later chapters.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything Harry Potter related.
Author's Notes: This is going to be a 25 chapter story.
( Something new 4/25Collapse )
Preparing for the Harbor Lights Festival, Boothbay Harbor, Maine. Photo by my husband
- Current Mood: busy