October 14th, 2005

The Stresses of Life...

Right now I have a couple of friends going through some tough times. One is dealing with a personal challenge; the other is surrounded by those who are struggling. It's so hard to watch those you love suffer...even though I realize that pain usually makes us better people, I still wish I could somehow soften the intensity. To me there's just something about the clarity of autumn that can make sadness more acute -- the crisp yellow framed by the deep blue...and in Colorado, the dancing leaves. It has always filled my heart with longing for something just out of my reach. Since I've had children, I feel more content when I view the beauty of fall...but with sadness in the air right now, the poignancy has returned somewhat...

When I awaken in the middle of the night, as I often do, my mind seems drawn to worry. I imagine all the worst-case scenarios that could happen to my family...and sleep slips away...and I cry silent tears...

I don't know why beauty has such power to intensify our emotions...but I certainly utilize it. My husband and I were married outdoors, at Panorama Point, high in the Rocky Mountains -- on a lovely February morning...

How thankful I am that God is God of the beauty, the pain, the healing...the Painter of our World...
  • Current Mood
    melancholy melancholy