robinellen (robinellen) wrote,

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Middling on hope...

Hope is a funny thing. I tend to be a pretty upbeat (positive) person, I think, but I'm also realistic. However, I think I have a fair amount of hope because my entire outlook aims for 'things will work out'. That doesn't always mean (to me, at least) that things will work out how I want them to -- but they will work out.

As someone who's older but not old (let's hope), I've seen some evidence in my life for things working out. Many times, it didn't work out as I'd planned (or 'hoped'). For instance, I hoped to be married by the time I finished college. I hoped to teach in the public schools. I hoped to be published before I was 40.

Yeah, none of those happened. Well, not entirely. I didn't get married before finishing college -- I didn't even get married before turning 30 (which had been my back-up hope). But it definitely worked out :) Not only did I find someone who I believe to be my soulmate, but we're quite happily married (even during the downs of relationships) and have two wonderful kiddos.

I did teach in the public schools for one semester -- and realized I hated it. So then I hoped to be like Laura Ingalls Wilder -- and that actually did work out. It was nothing like I thought it would be, but it did happen, and I had my own school for 8 years. I learned a ton doing it, and I'm very glad it all happened just as it did.

Who knows what will happen with the publishing hope? Obviously, I won't make it before I'm 40. I don't even know if it will happen before I'm 50 -- maybe not at all, at this rate. But I still have hope...and I do believe that things will work out (and work out in the right way, the way they should).

For me, I guess hope is a general belief that Life is good and will bless us, overall. Even in the midst of trials and moments which feel hopeless, there has to be hope that light will return. I tell my husband that often when his business, which is quite cyclical (and very 'up-and-down'), starts slowing down. It will return to the up cycle, even if it's not as up as it was before.

So's here.
Tags: middling
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